OMG! there's a dog in here! NO!! It's a really small elephant

Lets talk dogs.  People with disabilities use a multitude of aides in order to have a better quality of life.  I personally have:

• two canes
• walker
• platform crutches
• manual wheel chair
• electric wheelchair
• parifan bath
• tens unit
• custom eating utensils
• mouth guard
• cpap machine
• braces
• wrist
• ankle
• back
• shoulder
• custom shoes
• service dog

All of these aides do something specific to make my life easier whether it be helping me walk, lowering pain, helping me breath, controlling muscle spasms or aiding in controlling the effects of PTSD.  While most of these devices are not living, they all are protected under the ADA laws.  These laws are specific and protected by federal law. A service dog must be under the control of the handler at all times.  This can be a physical or verbal tether. Some people need the dog to be free roaming to do physical actions like holding the door or pushing the buttons to open a door. A service animal it must provide a minimum of two aides for the person.  The following is an example of some of the activities a service dog may do. This is by no means all the services they do.

• picking up dropped items
• keeping an autistic child from wandering away
• alerting parents to a need for a ill/disabled child
• alerting on high/low sugar levels for a diabetic
• helping with dressing a person
• pulling a wheel chair
• redirecting damaging behavior such as skin scratching or hyper vigilance for PTSD
• calming persons in a panic attack 
• taking someone  home who is unable to remember how
• calling 911 for a medical emergency (really) 

 Service dogs have a unique ability to provide a multitude of services,   When I am out with my dog, I may appear perfectly fine. It is important to understand not all of disabilities are visible.  Attempting to forbid the entrance of a service dog or telling someone to leave the animal at home, is the same as telling a paraplegic to leave their wheel chair at home. Yes, it is exactly the same thing.  Similarly, the federal law specifically states that a service dog is not required to have an identifying vest, leash or other identifier stating it is a service animal or what it does.  No one would expect someone with MS to have a sign on the back of their chair stating they have it.  This is the same reasoning that is applied to service animals.  Privacy is part of our rights as people.  

As an advocate for service animals and the many different people who have them, I often deal with uneducated people.  I hear things like " You're not blind, you don't need that dog." or " What about people who are allergic to dogs? You could make someone sick."  In answer to the first question; first it's rude. Secondly, unless you are intimately involved in my medical care, you have no business making medical judgement on what I use to aide me.  I know many fine veterans who have severe PTSD.  Allowing themselves to embrace the need for help and acquiring a service dog to help make living every day a bit easier, simply by training a dog to support them is a medical break through that helps reduce veteran suicide.  Being attacked in public for needing the dog frequently triggers panic attacks and flashbacks. Believe me I know. 

I will end my lecture with this.  As a veteran and a person living with PTSD, I know what having a service dog has done to make it possible for me to leave my home on my own.  I function more clearly, knowing my dog is trained to minimize triggers and to alert people to my needs if I become non functioning in public. My life is better for having one.

The Search 

My beloved Dobby has been my faithful service dog for six years.  He was a rescue dog from the Humane Society before he came into my life.  Having him at my side all of these years truly opened doors for me participate in life.  Unfortunately, I have had to retire my Dobs because he has become a senior dog with a bit of a grumpy side. He will be retiring to manning the sofa and barking at the neighbors.  I have now begun my search for a new dog to train up as my new service animal.  I have looked at several over the last months and none of them have been able to truly qualify as a candidate for training.  I am continuing to look at rescues and animal shelters for my new partner.  While previously I have looked at larger dogs because I am more comfortable with them.  This weekend I will be evaluating a pup named Betsy.   She is dachshund/bull terrier mix, white with big black spots, and 6 months old.  While she is a rescue she has been in a home with many other dogs, cats and children, thus having healthy socialization during the early developmental stages.  This is a plus in that she should not need as long of an adjustment time before I begin training with her.  

I do not have the mind set of this has to be the dog for me.  I have done that in the past and that usually leads to a bad match.  I am excited to go evaluate her but my heart isn't set on her.  It will be nice if she is the dog for me because I truly need to have a service animal who can go out with me daily. 

It should be interesting..

determined to simplify

Knowing I have changed and having others understand and accept this are two entirely different experiences.  As the healing happens and I evolve into this calmer more joyful person, I am acutely aware of the lack of emotional and spiritual  pressure. I "know" I am stronger, calmer and happier than I have been in a long time. Those closest to me are encouraging and supportive of my work to evolve into a better person.  It is when people who knew me during the worst parts of me depression can not imagine me as a something other than out of control that my heart breaks.
Many years ago I found a book in the library "The Simple Living Guide. " As I was reading it, I felt as though an entirely new way of living had opened up for me. As a natural purger and minimalist, this book gave healthy examples of how to make my world more peaceful and clutter free. I have been able to down size my home to less than 700 sq ft. I am learning the difference between having stuff just to have it and having objects because they are truly useful or bring me joy. It has been a true challenge.
As part of the simplification of my life, I am freeing myself from the restrictions set by an apartment or house. I imagine eventually I will find a place that sings to my heart and I will once again settle into a place where people can know my name and the waitresses will be thrilled to see me in the local diner.  For now though
I am looking forward to the reality of being able to travel. The freedom of leaving most of my trappings behind and living on purpose.
I believe the hardest part is keeping clothing that all of my alters will either wear or respect that someone else in the system will wear.  This applies to items such as toys, art supplies, shoes, photos and any other items we have in the house. Because we are not on a short dead line we can make good choices about what to keep and what can be sold.  Not having a powerful attachment to material items makes these choices easy for me.  The others in the committee don't have the same mindset. There are going to be many compromises over the next several months. In the end I know we will have our world bared down to the absolute must keeps. I am excited about the idea of  going alone, with just my service dog and my spirit to help me brave the world before me.